


Doubts

by midnight_cowboy



Series: Echoes [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Drabble, Drama, Gen, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-25 06:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20372371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_cowboy/pseuds/midnight_cowboy
Summary: Saren, his thoughts and doubts during the attack on Eden Prime.





	Doubts

The farmer finally calms down, limp in his hands, the pulse of the heart no longer beating under his fingers, and Arterius discards the useless body, which thumps at the ground under his feet. Weak, despicable creatures - they know that they will die, and still try to save their asses. Not only these little people from Eden Prime, not only the human race, _everything_ and _everyone_ will soon perish. Only obedience to the fate, obedience to the Sovereign and other Reapers will save some, those who really deserve it. But instead of bowing their heads, people will fight - Saren knows these stupid creatures. Animals that stubbornly pursue only their own selfrish goals, and, not seeing the obvious, in the end bring themselves up for slaughter.

Geth close to him skirrs and squeaks into the earphone, pointing to a small gap between the cargo containers - there's another person hiding, another bag of bones and blood. The turian easily pushes open the metal drawers and pulls out a screaming woman by her leg. With his omni-tool, he cuts her throat with ease of a butcher, but in the process of it she gathered all her strength and spat in Saren’s face - as if to say she did not give up even on the threshold of Death.

Saren did not like to get his hands dirty, usually preferring long-range combat to the other forms of battle, but today everything is different, and Specter’s hands quickly flood with blood, generously pouring out of woman's throat. And it feels frighteningly right. And at the same time - vile, scary, because the red seemed blue in his eyes for just a moment, and the woman's eyes were the same color as of... 

No. No, he did everything right. He gave mercy, made a choice for his student, as for him a choice was made by So-- No, he himself, _he himself_, was the one who decided to follow the Sovereign willingly! Nihlus would understand. Would. Probably.

Arterius, staggering, pushes away the Geth asisstant, who had arrived just in time with some medi-gel. He needs to get to the Beacon. Then Nihlus' sacrifice would not be in vain, and the choice was right. He takes an unsteady step forward, not even applying the meds - he must go, now.

But for some reason, it still seems that something is wrong. In his mind bright blue spots of blood appear on his hands again and again, burning the chitin with an indelible mark. For some reason, the human struggle for life and courage they gather before its end for a moment ceases to be stupid, and Kryik stands before him once again and shakes his head, as back then, on Noveria (as in life), when Saren turned the heads of mercenaries into a bloody mess. And his deeds seem so stupid, it feels for a moment.

But no, _he is not weak_. His steps once again become firm, chest no longer heaves heavily and wheezes do not break out from his mouth, and the thoughts are crisp and clear as never before. The Sovereign seems a creature of Evil only for the weak, but Saren is not weak, no. He is _not_ weak.

Nihlus shakes his head anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> well. I was much more creative and interesting in 2012! what wonderful news /s
> 
> [rinnannon](https://twitter.com/rinnannon) on twitter if you wanna yell at me


End file.
